Dr. Neil Francis Ravella, a luminary in the field of psychology and a pillar of strength and guidance to his family, passed away on February 15, 2024, at the age of 74 in Dallas, Texas, after a courageous battle with cancer. Surrounded by his loving family in his final moments, Neil's legacy is one of compassion, dedication, and leadership both within his professional realm and his personal life.

Born of Irish and Italian parents on July 6, 1949, in Springfield, Massachusetts, Neil was the product of a quintessential American upbringing. Raised in a lively Air Force family, Neil and his seven siblings were no strangers to change, their lives punctuated with frequent moves and new adventures. But amidst the chaos, Neil found solace and strength in the unbreakable bonds of family—a foundation that would shape the course of his life and work.

When his country called, Neil answered, serving with distinction in the Army during the Vietnam War from 1969 to 1971. It was a defining experience, one that would deepen his understanding of the human condition and inform a fierce determination to help others navigate life's most challenging moments.

And so began a career that would see Neil become a quietly towering figure in the world of psychology. Dr. Ravella worked with families, seniors, and children, particularly those who endured trauma and abuse, the underprivileged, the orphaned, and in special cases the juvenile incarcerated. He was dedicated to helping the most vulnerable among us. As a pioneering therapist, Neil had an uncanny ability to see beyond the surface, to understand the depths of his patients' struggles and fears. His approach was at once gentle and unwavering, a delicate balance of empathy and guidance that inspired countless individuals to overcome challenges and emerge stronger, more resilient.

But Neil's impact extended far beyond the confines of his therapy sessions. As a soft-spoken leader in the Houston, Dallas, and even Oklahoma psychological communities, he is described by his peers as a mentor, a collaborator, and a visionary. He served tenures as president of the Dallas Society for Psychoanalytic Psychology, Chairman of the Board of the Children's Advocacy Center, and Board Member at the Domestic Violence Center, to name just a few. Neil had a fierce commitment to helping those in life's most difficult times. Another profound calling to him was mentoring psychologists and other mental health professionals, marked by a dedication to pushing the boundaries of what was possible in the field and fostering a sense of community and shared purpose among his colleagues.

Neil's early career work at the Galveston Family Institute was instrumental in advancing family therapy, while his final professional role at the Momentous Institute (of the storied and esteemed Dallas Salesmanship Club), will forever bear the mark of his brilliance and dedication. Neil’s colleagues there lovingly refer to the mental health programs for children and their families, as well as the educational programs for mental health professionals at Momentous as “the house that Neil built”. It was in these institutions that he did what he considered his life’s work, developing and sharing innovative approaches to family therapy that would go on to transform countless lives. For Neil, this was more than just a job; it was a calling, a sacred duty to help families heal, grow, and thrive, and to mentor and train the clinicians of the future.

And yet, to truly understand the magnitude of Neil's impact, one need only look to the people who loved him most. To his siblings—Robert, John, Eileen, Mary, Maureen, Peter Jr., and James— Neil was the embodiment of their mother’s kindness, the one who could always be counted on for a compassionate ear, a word of wisdom, or a multi-day long spirited sibling contest of skill in sauce-making expertise. To the children Neil parented—Maxwell, Katie, Bo, and George—he was a rock, a compass, a source of endless love and support, and a model for the profound blessing and responsibility that is parenting, in whatever form it presents itself.

And then there was Mary, his beloved wife and partner in all things. Theirs was a love story for the ages. From their art-filled adventures to their spontaneous "wanders" and quiet moments at home with their cherished dogs, Millie and Bird, Neil and Mary's love was a beautiful reminder of what truly matters in this life.

Neil Ravella lived a life that was at once extraordinary and beautifully ordinary. He was a man who found joy in the simple things—in a perfectly crafted tomato sauce, in a camping trip, in a heart-to-heart with a loved one. And yet, he was also a man who moved mountains, who left an indelible mark on the world of psychology and on the countless lives he touched.

As we mourn his passing and celebrate his legacy, let us remember the words of John Prine, played at Mary’s funeral, that brought Neil comfort in his final days:

"When I get to heaven, I'm gonna shake God's hand

Thank him for more blessings than one man can stand

Then I'm gonna get a guitar and start a rock-n-roll band

Check into a swell hotel; ain't the afterlife grand?"

For Neil, the promise of reuniting with Mary was the sweetest blessing of all. Neil, a man whose life was filled with so many appointments, knew he had one last appointment to keep, with his dear Mary: "I'm gonna kiss that pretty girl on the tilt-a-whirl… Yeah this old man is goin' to town."

Dr. Neil Francis Ravella was a force of nature, a beacon of hope, and a true friend to all who knew him. He will be missed, but his legacy will endure, a shining testament to the power of compassion, dedication, and unwavering love. He will look forward to meeting you again, in that grand swell hotel in the sky, where we'll raise a glass to a life well-lived and a love that knows no bounds.

Neil’s Family wishes to express immense gratitude to UT Southwestern Hospital for allowing the family to establish within it, a sacred and peaceful place to end Neil’s days surrounded by friends and family.

Neil is lovingly remembered by his surviving siblings John, Eileen, Mary, Maureen, Peter Jr., and James, his children Maxwell, Katie, Bo, and George, grandchildren, and much beloved and many in number, nieces and nephews. He was preceded in death by his wife Mary, brother Robert, father Peter Sr., and mother Eileen.

A service to celebrate Neil's remarkable life will be held at two o’clock in the afternoon on Monday, March 18, 2024 at Holy Trinity Catholic Church, 3811 Oak Lawn Ave. in Dallas, Texas. As we gather to honor his memory, we reflect on a life lived with purpose, dedication, and an unwavering commitment to the betterment of others. Neil's contributions to psychology and his legacy of kindness and mentorship will continue to inspire future generations.

In lieu of flowers, Neil would have wanted celebration through unrequested-acts-of-kindness, forgiveness, and connection in his memory - adopt a stray pet, reach out to a neighbor, cook a meal with loved ones, or for those feeling introspective, take a “wander” to appreciate the beauty of nature or visit a national park.